Okay, it's time to come clean. I'm just going ahead and telling you all: I am a creature of the undead. There was no use trying to hide it. I mean, it was bound to slip out eventually. Someone might casually drop a comment asking me what I'd been up to the other day, and I would have witlessly replied: "Oh, Me? I was sleeping all day in the dark recesses of my catacomb-like basement, because that's the only place in my house where the sun's treacherous rays of blood-boiling death cannot reach me. Oh Wait, GodDamnit!"
So I decided to tell you all now. I am a vampire. My soul is as black as the night through which it is condemned to wander for the rest of eternity. My fate was chosen for me, and now I must walk the steps of death awoken. Do not cry for me, for I am already gone.